Just after that, during break, I was on the Human Beast Wars app the whole time.
I didn’t end up playing, I just left it there. On the screen was the profile for my friend, Yosshii-san. Yosshii-san has gone on 300 quests solo, and has killed about 600 monsters on hunts. Earlier, Yosshii-san had sent me a personal chat in the game.
He sent things like “Want to go on quests together?”, or “Maybe your playing with other people?”.
It was probably because I was online this whole time. Normally, I would be really happy to see this message, but in the current situation, I can’t. That’s because, Yosshii-san is actually my coworker at work.
Adding on to that, I’m very bad at interacting with him. His name was Setsu-kun. I don’t know his first name. It’s not like Setsu-kun is a bad person, but for some reason, I can’t match well with him. I think we’re probably just incompatible.
Even then, he kept trying to talk to me and to be honest, it was annoying. The things that he talks about are just things I can’t seem to connect with. We just can’t seem to keep a conversation going.
Recently, since we found out that we play the same game, we’ve been able to talk a little bit more, but only about that. I don’t have any special feelings or anything like that. He really is just a fellow part-timer to me. To be honest, I couldn’t care less about him.
Why though, why do I have to be thinking about Setsu-kun so much? This whole entire break, I’ve ended up thinking about him. During this time, I’ve also been feeling weird. Looking at the game screen with Yosshii-san on it makes this weird feeling grow.
Yosshii-san really is a kind person. I never met him in person before, but it’s safe to say that I consider him to be someone special. Because of Yosshii-san, my life became more enjoyable, and I was able to make friends with various other people.
Even just playing with each other was so fun, and the feelings that I had never experienced before grew. I think it’s a little bit stupid, but have come to like Yosshii-san. That isn’t in the way where I would like to date him, but rather as a person I like him a lot.
I honestly think that having these sorts of feelings for an in-game friend is stupid though. For the Yosshii-san that I like so much, to be my fellow part-timer Setsu-kun…
My mind was so confused. Things like this really do happen. What should I do? The way I should act around Setsu-kun, the way I should act with Yosshii-kun, I don’t know what to do with either anymore…
I hit my forehead against the table in the break room. The hair that I had taken the time and effort to organize was now completely ruined. But, I don’t really mind too much. There are more important things to think about.
What do I want to do?
I ask myself this. At times like this, I can only ask myself for an answer. I dive deep down into my own thoughts, trying to grasp my feelings. I think that I should continue the current relationship that I have with Setsu-kun and Yosshii-san.
Then, what should I do? Once again, I ask myself this. If I want to keep things the same, then I should act the same way as well. This is for the best.
Setsu-kun being Yosshii-san, I should set them apart. Setsu-kun is my coworker, while Yosshii-san is my precious gaming friend. Nothing will change. It shouldn’t matter whether they are the same person.
I just have to act like before, as if I didn’t know anything, and interact with them that way. That’s all I need to do. As I repeated this to myself over and over again, my break time ended. I hurriedly punched in my time card and changed my expression as I went out.
As usual, the owner was moving about in the kitchen. Setsu-kun could be seen a little bit further. Other than that, there was only the group of three ladies in the shop.
“Ah, is your break over? Then, since there isn’t any customers, you can go help Setsu-kun with studying again.”
“If there isn’t anything to do, I guess I’ll go.”
The owner for some reason always tries to set me up with Setsu-kun, but it’s honestly quite bothersome. I really don’t have those sorts of feelings for Setsu-kun.
As such, I casually responded to her words. Of course, I don’t want to go and help him. It would be better for me to clean some of the customer seats.
Thinking that, I start on my cleaning. I say cleaning, but it’s really just organizing the menus on the table and wiping it off with a piece of cloth. Taking a quick look at Setsu-kun, I was confronted with the sight of him looking seriously at his textbook.
He came to study today, but why did he come to his workplace to do it? I did question that, but I didn’t feel the need to ask him. But, it is weird.
I keep taking glances at him. Every time I see him though, all he’s doing is studying. I wonder what it is? Ah, I see, I’m curious about why he’s here. Then, let’s just ask him.
I walk over to Setsu-kun’s seat. Meanwhile, Setsu-kun didn’t notice me as he kept staring at his textbook. I had a slightly bad feeling about that but I didn’t mind it and opened my mouth.
Or so I thought, but nothing came out. Why? All I’m doing is asking a question.
“…Hmm? What is it, Echizen?”
As expected, he noticed me after I walked up to him. I look at him.
Then, I said something that I didn’t understand myself. I was going to ask him a question so why did that come out instead?
“Eh, then why are you here?”
“I don’t know.”
“Haa? Really, what’s wrong, Echizen?”
“Nothing is wrong.”
What am I doing? Why can’t I say what I’m thinking? Why am I just saying meaningless things? For some reason, my face grew hot. It can’t be, I’m nervous? Why? I’ve already talked to Setsu-kun so many other times before. Setsu-kun is just a boy that I don’t have any thoughts about.
“Then, I’ll be heading back to work.”
“Haa… Do you want something from me or not…”
When I left, Setsu-kun said that in a quiet voice, but I didn’t say anything back. In reality, I just couldn’t say it. Afterwards, I kept following Setsu-kun with my eyes. I don’t even understand what this is myself.