In order to kill some time, I opened my app game to play it.
To be honest, it was the type of game that I wasn’t that good at, but since it was ranked 1st, I installed it out of interest. It’s just to kill time anyways, it’s fine if it’s boring.
With these light feelings, I started to play this game. This game is called Human Beast Wars, unlike most other games that depend on luck, this game is a third person shooter. I’m not very good at games like this, but the feeling of defeating monsters is unbearably good, so I continued to play it. Although, it’s only to the point where I play when I have free time.
One day, I accidentally matched with a random player online, and ended up going on a quest with complete strangers. At first I thought I would only be holding them back, so I thought I would just leave, but that could have been annoying in and of itself, so I decided to keep going with the quest in the end.
The other quest members seemed to have pretty high levels, which made me pretty nervous, but I wanted to do whatever I could. However, I could not play better than I normally did, so I quickly ended up in a situation where I was on the verge of dying.
I didn’t even have any healing items. I was completely holding them back. The other members must already be done with me.
“Ryoma-san, are you alright?”
However, the person who kindly reached out to me as I was on the verge of death was…
It was currently my break, and I was sitting across from my coworker, Setsu-kun. As usual, we don’t end up talking to each other. Setsu-kun didn’t seem to mind it as he had his smartphone out and was playing games on it. I was also looking at my smartphone, but from time to time, I would take stealthy glance at Setsu-kun.
I don’t know why or what it is, but I have a weird feeling. Just looking at Setsu-kun makes my chest feel sick. Adding on to that, my face becomes hot for some reason. I’ve been feeling like this all day today. I end up feeling strangely conscious of Setsu-kun. My eyes end up following him when he moves around, I end up talking to him for no reason, and I even force him to take a break at the same time as me when it is completely unnecessary.
Really, what’s wrong with me?
If the me from a month ago saw me now, I would most likely be shocked speechless. Even now, when I look at myself I’m amazed. Still, it isn’t like I hated myself for being like that. Even though I find myself stupid, I don’t hate it. Rather, I might like myself a little more now than before.
My friends have also told me that I smile more, and life has become a little more enjoyable. My surroundings feel a lot more vivid and colorful, my life feels more fun, and I’ve started to really look forward to my part-time job. I completely don’t understand the reason for this though.
Somehow, I can feel it though, that a new thing has become important to me. The feelings sleeping deep within my heart are still feelings that I don’t understand. One thing that I can be sure of though, is that it is something I should cherish.
If I understand it, I feel like I would be able to like myself even more. My life would become even more beautiful. The reason that I end up sticking with Setsu-kun is also because I feel like I can understand these feelings if I did. I don’t have too much confidence in this, but I feel like Setsu-kun holds the key to all of this.
While I say that, there is no way I can understand the current situation, so I drop my eyes to my smartphone and I open Human Beast Wars. Now that I think about it, the time when I also felt this way was when I found out that Setsu-kun and Yosshii-san were the same person. Maybe that moment is a hint for this.
I think about it for a bit, but as expected, I still don’t understand. The feeling within my chest, the loud beating of my heart, and the tightening pain that I have never felt before are all things that I don’t understand. I don’t know how many times I have looked at him during this break now, but after looking at my smartphone, and then back at Setsu-kun, I let out a small sigh.
Just like this, my mind goes in a loop thinking about these things.
“Are you playing Human Beast Wars?”
Setsu-kun asked me this while looking at his smartphone. Totan, dokun. My heart made an especially loud beat. For some reason, I became very exhilarated.
“I was just about to play it.”
“Do you want to play together then? I was also about to play after all.”
“… Yeah, I guess.”
“… Eh, really?”
“Really. You invited me, right? What’s with that reaction?”
“N-no, I mean, I thought you would refuse…”
“What type of person do you think I am?”, or so I thought I would say, but when I consider my past behavior, it can’t be helped that he would think that way.
I’ve always been cold to him up till now after all.
… Wait, why did I suddenly act this way towards Setsu-kun? I didn’t really like Setsu-kun that much before, that’s why I ended up having that attitude with him… Does that mean it’s not like that now? I don’t understand, I don’t understand myself.
They are my feelings, but since I can’t seem to control them, they don’t feel like my own. Where are my feelings then? Then, while I was in the middle of thinking, the door to the break room opened.
“The both of you, thanks for your hard work~”
“Ah, thanks for your hard work as well.”
“Thanks for your hard work.”
The owner came in with a smile and quickly sat down at the seat closest to the door.
“You don’t need to watch the floor?”
“Ah, the shop is temporarily closed for the day.”
Setsu-kun and I responded at the same time to the owner’s mysterious words.
“It’s hard for you guys to work in this heat, right? Besides, there aren’t any customers coming.”
That’s how it normally was I thought, as Setsu-kun opened his mouth.
“Then, does that mean we can leave now?”
“Ah, wait a moment. I don’t mind letting you guys off, but I still feel like I troubled you two. You guys will be paid of course, but I still feel bad for making you guys come all the way here, only to stop your work early.”
“No, there’s no need to worry about it…”
“Nono, I mind it. So, do you mind accepting this?”
The owner, while looking apologetic, handed Setsu-kun and I, each a piece of paper. The paper was a movie ticket. The movie was the most recently talked about romance movie.
“The both of you should go together. Really, I feel bad about all of this!”
Despite what he said, the owner was overflowing with smiles. I guess he really does like trying to set us up together. H-however, if the owner puts it that way, then I guess it can’t be helped, right? I looked at Setsu-kun out of the corners of my eyes.
“Well~ since we have tickets anyways, why don’t we go?”
“No, I can’t”
Setsu-kun gave a quick refusal.
“Ah, I guess you had other plans?”
“It isn’t like that, but… I have a girlfriend, you see?”
“That’s why, I would feel bad for my girlfriend if I was alone with another girl.”
… A girlfriend… he has one.
“I see~. Then, I guess you can’t~”
Looking disappointed, the owner sat down in his seat.
“Then, I’ll be leaving now. Echizen, I’ll be using the changing room first.”
After saying that, Setsu-kun quickly entered the changing room.
A girlfriend… he has one…