I’m currently in a lot of pain.
These things probably happen a lot, but still, my heart hurts a lot. Since I don’t have many male friends, the only boy that I interact with on a daily basis is Yoshiki-kun. That’s why there would be no person besides Yoshiki-kun that I could come to like. I will always, always love him.
However, Yoshiki-kun is slightly different. He seems to interact with a lot of other girls all the time. As his girlfriend, I really don’t like that. It’s not like I want Yoshiki-kun to be like me, to not interact with the opposite gender at all. I also understand that Yoshiki-kun does like me. Still, I can’t help but worry.
When Yoshiki-kun talks with other girls, I end up jealous, my heart ends up hurting, and I feel more and more uneasy and insecure. It was like that today as well. When I arrived at the meeting place, Yoshiki-kun was talking with another girl. Adding on to that, the last time Yoshiki-kun was with her, I remember getting jealous and not liking it.
It was the girl that he liked during middle school after all. I don’t know when he would end up liking her again. I became super anxious, and in return, I could only hit Yoshiki-kun with that anxiety in the form of anger.
Then, that girl appeared as well. She had blonde hair and was quite the cute girl. Apparently, she was Yoshiki-kun’s coworker. I heard about his coworker before, but I never expected her to be that cute. Moreover, the reaction that she had, it seemed like she was somewhat conscious of Yoshiki-kun.
It was just out of intuition, but that’s how I felt. It made my uneasiness grow even more. Then, I started to imagine it.
The scene of the blonde girl and Yoshiki-kun talking happily with each other.
The scene of them happily working together.
The scene of them walking home together.
The scene of the two of them happily exchanging lips with each other.
No matter how unlikely it was, I imagined it all to be possible. I know there’s no way, that it’s impossible. I understand that. I understand that, but after I imagining it once, that scene is burned into my mind. In my head I could only visualize scenes of the blonde girl and Yoshiku-kun happily spending time together.
And within those scenes there was no sign of me appearing. My existence was unnecessary. For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to be angry. If it was like normal, I would get mad at Yoshiki-kun, but it isn’t like that right now. It felt like, how should I put it… A feeling of giving up, or something like that was covering up my heart.
And then I thought:
It was strange that I would be the one next to Yoshiki-kun.
“Hey, that took a while. The other two already went home.”
I called out to Mamiko as she comes back from the restroom. After Echizen left, I tried to think about various things, but in the end I couldn’t grasp the reason for Echizen’s sad expression. A few minutes later, Kenji also returned from the restroom, and when he learned that Echizen already went home, he did the same and left. Then, Mamiko, who was standing in front of me was in the restroom for more than twenty minutes, and five minutes after Kenji left, she finally came back.
“Sorry. I was just thinking about some things.”
Maybe she was thinking about me. She was quite angry at the time after all. That’s right, I need to apologize about that right now. Then we can go to a family restaurant on the way home, and happily talk with each other.
When I tried to speak, Mamiko ended up covering it with her own voice. She was now standing a little bit behind me.
“…W-what is it?”
“…This, this is a little bit hard to say, but…”
As Mamiko was speaking, her face was looking down, so I couldn’t quite see her face very accurately. I couldn’t read the expression that she had. Then just like that, Mamiko said something with her trembling voice that I couldn’t believe.
“Let’s, break up.”