I just now remembered what Setsu-kun had said to me earlier. Today, I had coincidentally met with him at the school information session that I was at. When I saw him, I was really surprised, but more than that, I was happy. The times we were together at work was getting less and less after all. But when we were having a conversation together before I went home, He had called me a “friend”.
Those words… They really affected me. To me, I probably see Setsu-kun as someone who is more than just “friends”. That’s why, I wanted Setsu-kun to hold the same sort of feelings for me. However, he has a girlfriend as well…
“What should I do…?”
I muttered to myself while inside my room. I don’t know what I should do. I don’t understand how I should deal with my own feelings. I’ve never experienced falling in love with someone before, so I’m unclear on these things. Should I keep on chasing after this impossible love? Should I close up these feelings forever?
Most likely, either of the choices will be hard for me. In that case, I want to pick the choice that I won’t regret, but in the end, I feel like I would regret it no matter which choice I picked because I’ll end up idealizing the choice that I did not make.
“Really… what should I do…?”
During the rest of that summer vacation, I would always end up thinking about things like this.
Then, as summer break was just about to end, I ended up working the same shift as Setsu-kun who I had not seen in a while. At that time, he wasn’t energetic at all and I couldn’t see the same warmth in him that he had before.
He kept on sighing, and it felt as if he had fallen into some hole somewhere. I became really worried. I wanted the person that I like to always be energetic. I wanted them to smile. That’s why I constantly asked him about it, but he would only give me standard responses.
Everything he said was an obvious lie that even I could see through. He was trying to hide the real reason. However, if Setsu-kun doesn’t want to say it then there isn’t a need for him to tell me. I was a little sad, but I’m not his girlfriend, I’m just a friend after all. While thinking about this, I constantly followed his profile.
Looking closely, he wasn’t a handsome guy per say, but his hair was set and he had neat eyebrows. His careful grooming made him look cool. As I thought, I want to be with him… I ended up thinking that but, such thoughts just made me suffer even more.
The evening of that day, I ended up taking my break at work. Setsu-kun had gone home early alone.
Normally, we would take our break together, so it was a little bit lonely, but today, it may have been awkward so it was probably for the better. I sat down in a chair in the break room and looked at my smartphone.
After looking at my SNS, as if it was a habit, my finger ended up tapping the icon of Human Beast Wars. After logging in to Human Beast Wars, I could see that Yosshii-san was online. Yosshii-san was my in-game friend, and he was also Setsu-kun, who works with me.
He hasn’t logged in recently so I was thinking he might have retired from the game so I was somewhat surprised, but at the same time, I was relieved. This way, I can talk to Setsu-kun about Human Beast Wars while being able to talk to him in game as well. I became somewhat happy and sent Yosshii-san a message in the heat of the moment. When I did that, a reply came immediately.
I’ve only done a basic greeting so far, but it seems like we’ll be able to have an exciting conversation like before so I became even happier. However, I was lost on what I should send him next. It’s just my intuition, but I feel like the reason Setsu-kun wasn’t energetic today, and the reason that he hasn’t logged in recently, is probably the same reason. He doesn’t know that I’m secretly his in-game friend, so I hesitated since I felt like I was tricking him.
Even so, I was worried. I couldn’t help but be concerned about the things that the person I like worries about. I might be hated by Setsu-kun if he finds out about this, but I squeezed out some courage and decided to ask him for his reason. Then, his reply came back.
[I broke up with my girlfriend you see… and I wasn’t in the mood to game due to shock.]
Those were the words that came back. Looking at those words, I instinctively stiffened.
I thought that my love would never be granted.
I thought that since he had a girlfriend I would never have the chance to attack.
I thought that he would never be able to get him to turn around and look at me.
However, that thinking has now been completely broken. Ah, I still have some hope…
It was the last day of summer vacation.
Since I didn’t think that staying at home all day because I had no work was very healthy, I decided to go out to the bookstore. Today, a new manga that I was looking forward to is being released.
Because our house is in the countryside and we don’t have a bookstore near the house, I had to go all the way to school. It’s fine though because I’ll be able to go to a bookstore with a large selection. Besides, it’s been about 2 months since I’ve been to a bookstore. Maybe I can find an interesting light novel or story that I haven’t read before. My heart does a small dance in anticipation as I head out of my house.
I got off a station before the Touyama High School station where I usually get off at. After walking about 10 minutes, I arrived at the bookstore. It was the last day of summer break, but since it was a weekday, there weren’t many people.
The first sight upon entering the store were the many dramas and movies displayed at the front. Among them, there were also dramas and stories that I’ve seen before. After passing through the first area, next came various anime, dramas, and recently adapted mangas all lined up neatly. The stories here were a lot larger in amount than the ones lined up at the front of the store and had many titles that attracted my interest. Among these, was the manga that I had come here to buy today and I immediately picked up the manga with my hand.
After that, I headed towards the light novel corner of the store. In the whole entire book store, all of the light novels were placed in this corner. Well, since they are light novels, it can’t be helped that they are treated in this way. There’s only a certain audience that would want to read them after all.
This store happens to place a surprising amount of attention to light novels, as even light novels that were published from less well-known publishers were placed at the front. Well, works like this end up disappearing after a bit, but sometimes they look interesting. Today as well, I came to look for one that was interesting, but… hmm, it doesn’t seem like there are any good ones today.
I don’t even see any of the new releases from the works that I like… Feeling a little unsatisfied, I moved my legs towards the manga corner. I usually only pick out a few specific works when it comes to manga, but sometimes I like to buy an interesting looking one to check it out. However, since I finish reading mangas really quickly, there isn’t really a feeling of substance, so if I had to pick on that I liked more, it would have to be novels.
Looking around the manga corner, I saw a person holding a shopping basket while staring at a specific series. Wearing a hat that covered their eyes, they looked suspicious at first glance. The series that the person was staring fervently at was a sports manga popular with women that had over 30 volumes already. I had even watched the anime for it, and I remembered that it was pretty interesting. Although the internet says that it’s something that would be popular with girls, it was still something that boys can enjoy.
I ended up trying to pass behind the strangely dressed customer. When I did that, they suddenly started putting the sports manga into their basket. Moreover, it wasn’t just 1 or 2 volumes. They put in 15 or 16 volumes all at once.
As I was passing by, I forgot to keep walking and ended up staring at the shocking sight. I had never seen such impulsive shopping before at a bookstore. Then, the customer noticed me behind them, and turned around to face me. As soon as they did, I was shocked for the second time today. The customer had a profile that I had seen before, with blonde hair that I had also seen before.
A similar situation had happened before just the other day, but this customer was the same blonde girl that I know very well. It was Echizen.